Ron Artest: From Ballin’ to Bawlin (from Laughter)

1 Aug

Ron Artest on a stage. With a mic. Not a court. Or a ball.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Ron Artest.

Ron Artest who?

Ron Artest the comedian.

Okay okay, I know that wasn’t the best joke you’ve ever heard… but um, that’s because it’s not a joke. It’s reality (funny reality, albeit.)

So as any basketball fan knows, the NBA is locked out. As a result, basketball players are looking for other job opportunities…

Ron Artest’s plan? Joke (no not choke, as in the Lakers this last season, but joke…as in, say-something-to-make-people-laugh.)

Thanks to Jason Collings, a comedian I met two nights prior who was booked on Ron Artest’s show, I got a chance to check out one of the most entertaining athletes in the game (consider watching Ron Artest do standup the equivalent to watching Shaq rap.)


  • Artest calling Ben Wallace a dick
  • Referring to comedian Maronzio Vance as “Maronzo” (I’m convinced it’s because he was just rhyming it was Alonzo, as in Alonzo Mourning, of 90’s Miami Heat fame. Side note: This “Maronzo” character is ridiculously hilarious. I was LOLing his entire set.)
  • Artest claiming he was bored one day, called his lawyer, and asked how much it would cost to change his name (thus we now have, Mr. Metta World Peace)
  • Someone asking if he wants Dwight Howard as a Laker. Response: “I love my team, we don’t need Dwight – I don’t got big shoulders, we have Bynum.” (He then goes on a tangent about Lakers getting swept by an F-ing German.)
  • Speaking of the Dallas series, here’s a classic Artest (Peace) line of the night: “F-ing Andrew Bynum, taking his shirt off like he’s a stripper – I almost tipped him!” (And we now know that Metta visits strip clubs…)
  • Someone asks about his pre-game ritual. Result? “This isn’t f-ing ‘The View’, did Oprah ask that? Oprah has the fattest ass in entertainment, right behind Serena, Serena has ass.” (No, Oprah didn’t ask that. Oprah is NOT one of the hundreds of audience members at the Brea Improv in Orange County. I’m guessing she was out being fancy somewhere.)
  • Someone asked if he liked fishsticks. “I know that joke, it’s the Kanye West joke from 4 years ago…I read the internet! You can’t get me!” (I just like the fact that he said “I read the internet. Oh and in case you’re wondering, liking fish sticks means you’re gay. According to South Park.)
  • Next question…are you happy with the size of your manhood? “I guess so, I enjoy that f-ing sex.” (PS one thing I’ve noticed comics do a lot is use profanity as a crutch – drunken audience members tend to laugh at anything that involves “f-ing.”)
  • He says he’s thirsty. He asks for breast milk (a joke? Probably. However it makes me wonder if he’s had breast milk at an age where he could remember, because well, I totally don’t remember the taste of it as a one-year-old…)
  • Lastly, someone asks what his nickname would be now that his new name is Metta World Peace. His answer? “Uh, I guess my nickname would be… Ron Artest.”
So in conclusion…who says the lockout is a bad thing? I may not get to enjoy the ridiculousness that is Charles Barkley on TNT, but spending Saturday nights with Ron Ar–um, Metta World Peace, isn’t a bad alternative.

Debby Ryan: Disney Darling….Mario Nemesis?

1 Jun

Debby Ryan is the next  _______. Whether you fill in the blank with Miley, Demi, or Selena, the point is she’s Disney’s next “it” girl (though I hope for Debby’s sake that “blank” is filled with ‘Selena’ because well, we know what happened with Miley and Demi.)

Anyway.  I went shoe shopping with the “Suite Life” star – and discovered she’s super… sweet (pun totally intended.)

So here’s the deal. I say the word “eeek” a lot. I even have a signature ‘eeek’ face that constitutes a slant of my lip in a way that would make my face look like the emoticon I use in chat, text and like every other tweet:


Sometimes, when something is really “eeek” worthy, it becomes a double eeek face where both sides of the mouth go down in opposite directions, essentially looking like an exaggerated sad/scared face.

However, calling it “exaggerated sad/scared face” is difficult and long. Thankfully, I had an epiphany while watching a different shoe shopping segment with the no-longer-airing “Glory Daze” actress Natalie Dreyfuss – turns out, I did this “exaggerated sad/scared face” on camera – and realized that I, indeed, looked like a… GOOMBA.

Now, if you’re an 80’s baby or a late-70’s baby or anyone that played NES/SNES, you know what a goomba is. For anyone who doesn’t? Well… here’s a photo.


So why is this relevant? How does this relate to Debby Ryan in any way? Um…. It t turns out, Debby and I BOTH make awkward faces that give props to the Nintendo enemy. Check it:


So aside from Debby just being cool because she’s the next  ________ (hopefully Selena) , or because she compares shoes to boys, or anything fun like that, she’s cool because she appreciates the power of the Nintendo-inspired Goomba face.


“Chuck” Star Mekenna Melvin Causes Water-gate SKandal

1 May

Smiling...for now

I don’t normally go into shoe-shopping trips and expect to leave with a fear of drinking water – but… that was the case the other day when I tagged along with “Chuck” actress Mekenna Melvin (Josh’s gf Alex McHugh). Before we went shoe shopping, I was discussing my dehydration, and my need for bottled water, and how I normally keep at 24-pack in my car at all times, but alas, my car was not there (such deep and meaningful conversation, I know.) Anyway. Mekenna decides she doesn’t want me to have water ever again, and therefore chooses to share a not-so-fun fact (okay she didn’t really not want me to ever have water…just keep reading.)

Apparently, according to her, bottled water in plastic bottles, when left in heat, is actually horrible for you. She explains some sciency reasoning (one I can’t remember) but basically suggests that if I continue to drink  out of plastic water bottles that have been sitting in my car, I’ll die…or well, consume a lot of chemicals or something.

So even though she was super chill and all, and a fun interview (we talked everything from TGIF to sale racks to relationships to mutual friends) – I now have a new fear. Thanks Mekenna. I hope a secret agent captures you, or something.

Wuz Up Wor..err, uh…Britney?!

13 Apr

Reasons to support your friends’ endeavors:

1. You have talented friends who are entertaining (legitimately entertaining… like, when they post videos on YouTube, a million people watch kind of entertaining)

2. You’ll meet new people (well, if you go out of your way to have a conversation with a stranger, you’ll meet new people. MAYBE even make a new Facebook friend or Twitter follower.)

3. You’ll spot Britney Spears, in an unphotographable state (we’re talking little make-up, bags under the eyes, straight confusion. More on that later…just keep reading.)

OK so here’s the deal. I went to the kickoff of the YouTube Digitour last night – you know the show where YouTube’s “hottest” musicians (that haven’t signed a deal like Bieber yet) showcase their skills in front of a live audience – NOT just on a computer screen?

My friend DeStorm (who I spent a month with in Vancouver when competing against him in that whole Samsung Mobile Explorer video competition thing at the Olympics last year) is big on YouTube (like almost a million subscribers kind of a big) and he’s on the tour with a whole bunch of other acts whose names I cannot remember because well, in my opinion, the highlight of the show was DeStorm.

Storm on Stage

Freddie. WordPress wont let me rotate photo.😦

So he killed it on-stage with the help of DJ Shammy Dee (who oddly enough, I met at Nordstroms like 2 weeks before. You’d think there’d be more DJs in this town?), Freddie Wong on guitar (Also an Olympics friend I competed against- YouTube him – he goes by FreddieW – videos are blowin’ up – pun intended), and this drummer Ricky Ficarelli (who I’ve never met but, after watching, I fell in love with because he reminded me of the Justin Bieber “Never Say Never” movie.)

Anyway. As the night progressed and I had concluded that DeStorm’s act was the highlight of the night, someone decides to come in and STEAL his thunder. She’s not even a YouTuber, and yet, she becomes the talk of the night. And guess what? You CAN Hold it Against Her…

Britney, Britney, Britney. You show up w/boyfriend Jason Trawick in a white Mercedes SUV (G-class… shout-outs to Fahad/Les for the heads up), sit upstairs at the El Rey Theater – close enough to the edge of the rail that anyone looking up specifically for you can at least make out that it’s you (which of course, friends Jessica, Tova, and I did), and watch the YouTube DigiTour show (or well, you watched some of it. I’m pretty sure as we were secretly staring at you guys, we saw you get into Jason’s lap and start making out with him. PS I approve. Big upgrade from fellow-Fresnan KFed.)

Anyway. We continue to watch Britney, and make a plan to dart to the bathroom the minute we see her get up (we’re secretly still 13-year-old girls that love “Baby One More Time.”) Eventually, we see her get up, so…we dart. But – we dart the wrong way? Turns out, Britney wasn’t looking for a bathroom — she was looking for the “Employees Only” room!! (OK she wasnt really, she was looking for a bathroom, but she walked into that room instead. The room that led to the merchandise room.) I notice this, walk over, watch as Britney hides in a corner, we make eye contact (which btw, her eyes looked totally out of it. No make-up, bags under the eyes, sad. I miss 2001 Britney.) I run to alert the friends, and we continue on Britney watch, assuming she’s gone back upstairs.

Turns out – from what we observed – she didn’t. So now, we were on Jason Trawick watch. I got bored, so I went outside to see if paparazzi were waiting, and they were …right next to the car she arrived in. I went back inside. Continued to watch Jason. Then, we see Jason leave the upstairs area so, once again, we dart!

Paps want a Piece of Her

Jason comes downstairs goes into Employees Only room, stays there for a minute, and comes out – back upstairs he goes. At this point, it’s confirmed Brit is still in that room – so we go to “look at merchandise” and we see a secret back door that has a “secret bathroom” – (which means Brit wasn’t delirious when she first entered the “Employees Only” room, she was actually on point.) We continue to look at merch (while secretly hoping to see Brit) and then a friend taps us on the shoulder to let us know we JUST missed her! WTF?!

Apparently, she and security had walked all nonchalantly through the show floor during the final set (featuring YouTuber DaveDays, apparently the biggest musician on YouTube) and exited through this side door next to the stage – WTF! Brit, you’re supposed to exit through the front where Paps are waiting, so that all of our stalking could have paid off!

Alas. Our stalking efforts failed – sort of (I mean, at least we made eye contact?) Until the next DigiTour…

PS In case you’re wondering why Brit was there in the first place…her boyfriend…Jason Trawick…he’s an agent at William Morris Endeavor. DaveDays = biggest thing on YouTube. Biggest thing on YouTube = $$$. William Morris Endeavor likes $$$$ (Do the math.)

PPS Check out a few minutes of DeStorm’s performance below:

A Thunderful Birthday

6 Apr

What happens when you encounter a couple basketball teams (more specifically, the Oklahoma City Thunder and the LA Clippers) at a club?


SK on Birthday: “Hi Kevin, I’m Samia. It’s my birthday, can I have a picture?”

Kevin Durant, busy partying: “Sure”

*we pose*

I’m happy. And now, an Oklahoma City Thunder fan.

Samia “Getz” the Reality of Bachelor Life

25 Mar

What happens when you go inside the bedroom of a Bachelor(ette)? A party ensues. Bachelor Pad winner Natalie Getz is the kind of girl that you’d want at your Bachelorette Party – fun, loud, energetic, single, fashionable. This wasn’t a normal closet visit – this one involved beverages and dancing and all sorts of things you only expect at Las Palmas night club. We bonded over our mutual former co-worker – (shout-outs to Chris Harrison), mutual fashion/social elite friend (shout-out to Dee Murthy), and the fact that she had a stuffed bear on her bed (he was adorable.) She had me try on her shoes. We danced in front of a mirror. We gossiped. Discussed our love for the fashionably affordable Michael Antonio footwear. And then…we parted ways. Another day on the job, another 1-hour-friendship to blog about.

Jillian Barberie Reynolds of Good Day L…Eh?

10 Mar

OK so anyone who has been to Canada with me, or is a celebrity from Canada, or is just around me when the term “Canada” comes up knows that I have this odd obsession with the country up north (where everyone is excessively nice and says ‘eh’ after every sentence.)

I’ve brought this up with Sarah Chalke (aka Elliot from Scrubs), Jason Jones (The Daily Show), another Canadian celeb who does not need to be mentioned because he’s been pseudo-cut from my life minus birthdays and congratulatory messages, and most recently, TV personality Jillian Barberie Reynolds (of Good Day LA/FOX NFL Sunday/NutriSystem fame.)

Two people who like to talk a lot

Ladies Love Louboutin... not Cool J.

I went to Jillian’s house in the valley to check out her shoe collection (which is massive btw), and well, naturally, her homeland came up (okay, even if it didn’t come up naturally…steering convo that way was a great ice-breaker.)

I’m really into regional gimmicks. Example: WhataBurger in Texas, Steak N Shake in the South/Mid-West, Sunoco gas stations on the East Coast… basically, anything that I can’t find in California, I’ll buy into and indulge.

Canada’s regional gimmick? Tim Horton’s (which is apparently also available in places like Detroit and New York City, but we will disregard that information for the sake of this blog post.

Tim Horton’s is…heaven (ok no, it’s a coffee/donut/cookie shop whose ice cap is comparable to a Starbucks frappuccino, but cheaper.) It all started in Dec 2007 when I was roadtripping from Massachusetts to California, and I wanted to make my national roadtrip… INTERnational (so via Detroit, I crossed the border into Canada for an hour, and discovered TH.) When I was in Canada for a month for Samsung at the 2010 Winter Olympics, I indulged myself even more.

Canadian Coffee, eh?

TH, therefore, is the natural conversation piece when meeting a Canadian.

I tell Jillian of my obsession, and being the giver of information and news that she is, informs me that Tim Horton was an actual person!  Yes, Tim Horton was a hockey player (another thing Canada is obsessed with) who apparently died at a relatively young age.

So in addition to Jillian providing me with my weather every morning on Good Day LA and info on her daily outfits via twitter, she has also enlightened me with info on my new favorite Canadian….Mr. Horton.

There’s No Place Like Home…less Shelters

3 Mar


Not usually the term I’d use when describing the feeling after a work-related shoot (keep in mind I cover fashion and celebs for a living) but… for this first time since my days as a local news reporter covering things like death, war, disease, fires, fairs, and the like, I’ve actually been affected.

Now, don’t get me wrong…this story still involves a celebrity or two (they always do) – but this time, I’m gonna try to drop the sarcastic tone….at least a notch.

So here’s the deal. Maksim Chmer-I-cant-even-spell-his-last-name-ovskiy from Dancing With the Stars, along with actors Liam Hemsworth (former flame to Miley may be his claim to fame), Jayson BlairDonald Faison (yes, Turk from Scrubs) and gf Cacee Cobb (spokesperson for Soles4Souls) were the famous faces reppin’ Souls4Soles charity and the Creative Recreation brand at a homeless shoe drive at the LA Mission.  (Sidenote: I was at a Creative Rec party a few weeks earlier in Vegas. That event, however did not inspire me or bring me near tears. Conclusion: Creative Rec lives a balanced lifestyle of party and charity. Well done.)


1300 boxes of Creative Recs

Anyway. Homeless people affect me. They make me sad. They make me feel fortunate. They make me feel blessed, two-fold. One because I have a roof over my head and food and clothing and whatnot. And two, because I have my sanity. A lot of people don’t realize that many of the homeless out there actually have mental health issues. Whether it’s a split personality or something else, they’re affected in such a way that even if they wanted to be in a better place, circumstantially, they just cant. So when one homeless man named Ernest told me he was “blessed” after getting a pair of Creative Recreation shoes, I got super reflective, almost-teary-eyed (I say “almost” not because I’m heartless, but rather because I am equally concerned about my eyeliner.)

Blurry iPhone photo

Anyway, enough of the “real” talk, I’ll save the emotions for like, Oprah or something. I just wanted to update the blog about this so that ten years from now, I remember that there were moments of “depth” when it came to my job.

PS Fun facts from the shoot? Turk aka Donald Faison started off the interview asking if he had boogers in his nose (this, sadly, didn’t make the cut into the edited piece.) Maksim C (no, I’m not gonna even try to spell his last name again) wears Creative Recs on the regular, and finds them to be fab. Cacee Cobb is legitimately really cool (many of you may know her from the days of Nick and Jessica as “NewlyWeds” – don’t judge her on her reality show past!) And the Creative Rec crew makes you want to quit your job and somehow figure out a way to work for them…or at least well, go out and buy a pair of their shoes.

In case you want to feel inspired, watch this:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

And yes, we still ask people about shoes they’re wearing…EVEN at charity events. See:

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Samia + Snooki = Slipper Sisters

25 Feb

So, I interviewed Snooki. Yes, THE Nicole Polizzi (Fun fact: people in her inner circle refer to her as “Nicole” – because well, when she’s out and about and the fans are screaming “Snooki”,  the important people can be differentiated. So stalkers/fans, take note…)

I’ve never watched Jersey Shore…willingly, at least. I have a friend named Sahil who once made me watch two episodes. I was entertained, but not enough to start giving up my Thursday nights at 10 pm to be one of the 8+ million people setting records and watching (side note, I had a dream about The Situation and I being BFFs few weeks ago. Still trying to figure out why…maybe it’s a sign of reality show stardom?? TBD.)

Anyway. I was at the fashion tradeshow MAGIC in Las Vegas to cover shoes (because well, that’s what I get paid to do), and of course when I found out Snooki (or um, Nicole) would be debuting her new slipper line, I of course had to discuss this.

Snooks and Slips

I was wearing 4.5 inch heels. Snooki… was in slippers. She’s already short. I’m already average height. It was an awkward conversation. But I’ll admit it. I was jealous of Snooki. Yes, JEALOUS. Why? She was in comfy slippers, and I was in not-so-comfy heels (dear Sam Edelman, some of your heels hurt, some don’t – please be consistent.)

SK = Jealous of Snooki

So after we bantered about her slipper line and how it came about (STORY: she wore Happy Feet slippers on the show, the guys at Happy Feet saw this, and thus, a relationship flourished. She started designing Snooki-like slippers…. they now come in cheetah print, sparkles, pink, purple, and other Snooki-ish styles), Snooki gave me her slippers.

How Snooki Saved my Life...or um, Feet.

Obviously, once you’ve given someone slippers, you’re at BFF-status. Slippers, you know, are a household look and well, that’s pretty personal if you ask me.

So once we were on that sorta intimate wave-length, she gave me top secret info on the Guido-style slippers she’s trying to design… one’s that would of course be…Orange (FYI that’s a reference to the the T part of GTL… TAN.) Props to her for taking ownership of the stereotype.

Anyway. We part ways, she suggests I wear the slippers the rest of the day, and I comply. Because well, rockin’ large pink slippers at a fashion tradeshow ALWAYS stands out (people expect fancy heels. They stare when you wear Snooki Slippers.)

What's hot for Fall 2011...

PS If you’re jealous of me and my super cool Snooki Slipper look (slippers that you can even wear outside – Snooks suggested wearing them to get gas or go to the grocery store) you can get your very own at

PPS for full video/story, watch below:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Taboo: Black Eyed Pea to Black Eyed Shoe Designer

23 Feb

Taboo Likes Shoes.

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Is asking Taboo if he’s Taboo a taboo thing to do?

So here’s the deal. We’re late to a “Taboo Shows Off His New Sneaker Line” event at Mandalay Bay in Vegas. But, as someone who doesn’t give up (or well, I’d like to believe  that) we go anyway. (Side note: the “we” in this story is myself and Katie Colleton, same Katie who was referenced in the last post from Vegas about 90’s-fave, Coolio.)

We roll up, stepped out of our fancy limo, and who’s in the car behind us? Mr Black Eyed Pea himself, Taboo. And his lady.

Perfect scenario, right?! We’re late to an event, we have no idea where the event is being held in the massive resort, and the “event” steps out in front of us!!

So…we follow him. No, not stalk (though the stopping every time he stops and appearing to look elsewhere while staring at him out of the corner of our eye is pretty stalkerish.) He stops, we stop. He talks to people… we… talk to eachother.


Taking pics of someone's shoes isn't creepy...

...But taking pics of them might be?

After 5-10 minutes, we decide this is awkward, and before I can do anything… my lovely co-worker Katie stops and goes: “Excuse me, are you Taboo??” (yes we already know its him, but she asks anyway… because there may be more than one person dressed in flashy attire with fun looking shoes that say “Taboo” on them in Vegas at Mandalay at the same time Taboo is scheduled to appear…)

You can see/hear this moment in this iPhone video documentation of it:

At this point, we confess how we’re lost and that we were, indeed, following him.

What’s funny is that a lot of people I talk to consider Taboo to be the “scary” one of the BEP. Which, sure, if you dont talk to him, may appear that way (he has long hair. Maybe it’s intimidating?)

But…he wasn’t scary. He wasn’t awkward. He wasn’t mean. He was actually quite the opposite. He was nice. Friendly. He introduced us to his wife. He invited us to follow. I asked him if the shoes he was wearing was part of his line. He said they were (Taboo Deltah by JUMP for those interested) – he said those were custom made. They were very “custom” – pink. I told him about how certain individuals in my life are big into the sneaker game. He remembered and brought it up in our interview later (good memory = good person. Fact of life. When you forget things about people, you come off as full of yourself. Conclusion? Taboo is humble and cares.)

Updated iPhone video documentation:

Funny moment? We’re walking and a lady stops him and chats for a second.  I think it’s cause she’s a fan and wants an autograph. Turns out she’s Norwegian and is simply giving away $50 gift cards to buy fancy-schmancy jumpsuits.

Anyway. We eventually get to our destination. I interview. I check out the sneaker line. Super fun colors, super affordable. He’s not just a celeb face/name for the product, he’s actually helping design the shoes. He’s even given the other Peas (,, Fergie) pairs. It all started when he excessively bought shoes while touring the world…he owns like 600 pairs, all on display in a shoe room designed like a shoe store – shout-outs to the wife for helping design it. He figured if he liked shoes so much, he may as well make em and throw his name on them (my thoughts? If your name is on a shoe, you don’t have to pay for them…)

Not so stalkerish now

Afterwards, Katie and I chat with Mrs Taboo (AKA Jaymie.) She’s pregnant. She explains how everyone in their family’s name starts with “J” – no, Taboo isn’t his real name – It’s Jaime Gomez. Yes, they’re Jaime and Jaymie. At this point, combined with stalking and interviewing, we’ve spent a good 30 minutes together… meaning we were close enough to talk pregnancy and baby names (cause that’s how us ladies roll.) Name of choice for the new baby? Journey Jameson. I’ll be honest, I thought I got the exclusive… I was like, “Wow, she likes us so much she doesn’t care that we’re here as media! And giving out baby names?! America eats up celebrity pregnancies and babies! We’re SO in!” – I then went on Twitter, and discovered @TabBEP announced the name 5 days before:-/

I wasn't first:-/

So even though I didn’t get an exclusive, I did get a blog post…and an answer to our question:

ANSWER: Asking Taboo if he’s Taboo is not taboo… it’s actually advantageous.